jesus. people outside are being super ridiculous. i can't tell if i'm over reacting.

i just post this as is, with no signature or comment. it appeared in my inbox apparently shortly before he called and came over. i was super hung- and stoned over, and waddled about my room as if i were in a foreign country in an odd shack that i'd never seen before. i eventually located them, and i have not contacted him yet to get them back.

Subject: glasses
Sent: 4/25/02 9:01 AM

Hey Ryan,

Can I borrow your elegant sunglasses for a role in a Shakespeare scene I'm doing this afternoon? And if so can I get them from you between 11 and 12 today, perhaps at lunch at Frank? If you're not comfortable loaning them out, I will understand.

Thanks,
B----e

buzzed is rather an understatement. try: couldn't stop twtiching if my life depended on it.

breakfast this morning: (infinitely better than monday morning) a can of red bull, a luna bar, and a cigarette.

the honey got crusty; sara came home and went to sleep in the back of the bar; a test that i missed, and i wasn't even really in the class.

running away from scripps with some kids; "i'm so hungry i'm fucking"; chrisellis/chrysalis.

think i'm entering into a v. unhealthy cycle. increased caffeine ----> caffeine tolerance/dependance ------>decreased REM sleep, and then the following day, no caffeine ------>inability to move ------>surplus REM sleep -------->reality slips further and further away......

one of my dreams was like 420 revisited, smoking with severine while listening to this coach talk about something, then everyone was getting up to leave; a guy called paris; erik stays in the dugout; i pocket severine's bag; a basketball goes flying around, and eventually turns into an apple core.

and of course there were several other ones.

so i'm sitting here, caught in the (by now) very familiar tug of war that is 'try and figure out what needs to be done and plan it all out' vs.'just do it you moron you've sat on your ass long enough'. i think figuring things out, the returning champ, will be victorious once again.


so friday night was kinda silly... went around campus with liz and erik and julia, first to smiley, where we popped a couple corks and just talked, then north to walker at half past eleven, then from walker after talking in the hallway down to the blackout party, with assorted kids who were excited for the holiday (which by then had just begun), then north to check out what was going on in lowry and then looking for julia's brother in clark. ended up coming home to iz and ang and kalei sitting out on the balcony.

breakfast this morning: two lines of dex and a cigarette.


sometimes i really hate school.